Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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