So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
