Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
