This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
