THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
