Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
