is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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