I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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