I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
