i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
