Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
