ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
