I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
