Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize