Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
