You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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