Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
