U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
