Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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