apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
