If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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