We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize