I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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