Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
