So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i think my cat just said my name.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
