Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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