I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Houston, we have a squirter
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
