a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
