It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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