five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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