That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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