I CAN MOONWALK!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
