You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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