You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
