Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
