Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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