you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
