So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
