Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
