He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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