so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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