new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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