i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize