He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
