When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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