office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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