Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i am craving dick and cupcakes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
