if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The best revenge is premature balding
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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