so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
