it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
