And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize