So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
