dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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