bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
