I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
