i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
