He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
