where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
