I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
