Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
