I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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