Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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