Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
