Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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